… I am losing her….
This chapter contains Voltaire’s descent into madness.
Voltaire sniffed the air and realized that he couldn’t smell Quinn’s essence anymore. He then began to walk across the glass. He felt his dirty feet tearing but he kept wandering towards that soft sweet smell. He knew the coat with pillows was not Quinn, and he knew the hollowness of the act. If she saw him, he knew she’d be impressed- overjoyed that Voltaire loved her enough to walk through broken glass for her mere smell. Quinn could imagine what he’d do for her. She would love him in the way he loved her. She would claim him and then they would be happy.
“I love you, Voltaire,” Quinn would tell him.
Voltaire picked up the coat and found Quinn’s scent was destroyed by his transparent blood that was covering the floor and smelled like rust. He let Quinn’s gift drop from his hand.
The pain in his feet was unbearable as he slowly limped towards the bathroom. Once there, he sat at the edge of the bath tub and filled the tub with water. He placed his feet in the water so he could sooth the pain as he pulled out the glass. The physical pain distracted him from Quinn as he cleaned his feet and bandaged them. Voltaire quickly bandaged himself up with some of his emergency supplies.
“I am not losing it,” Voltaire said. “I just need some sleep.”
After cleaning up, Voltaire lay in bed and tried to sleep. He thought about Ruth to numb his raw pain. Voltaire had long been in love with her before he had lost his entire life. He played with his long regrown hair as he recalled his childhood sweetheart and a time before he became invisible. They use to kiss behind his shed until his mother would lean out the screen door and yell, “Dinner! Ethereal…”
That voice seemed so real. Voltaire remembered how embarrassed he used to be because his mother’s voice was so shrill that half the street could hear her. He had shrunk from Ruth feeling a mixture of shame and longing. Then Ruth stole a kiss. Her large dark eyes were focused only on him, her dark skin pressed on him and her yellow dress swirled as she ran into the house leaving him breathless.
“I’m not losing her,” Voltaire had said as Ruth had left him. He ran after her.
Voltaire imagined it was Quinn whom he was kissing behind the shed with his eyes trained on her face, while they could see. What did Quinn look like? Voltaire tried to picture Quinn in his head instead of place her name on Ruth. He was able to recreate half of Quinn’s face, hands, and fresh hair. He fondly filled in part of Quinn’s missing face with Ben’s dark face. Except for the ears, he had given this vision Kelly’s ears. The rest of the body he gave to Ruth. Voltaire looked at the person in his mind’s eyes and felt a profound love for her. Voltaire leaned forward and kissed her. Quinn’s eye stayed open, Ben’s closed when they kissed.
“I am losing her,” Voltaire said out loud, weakly crying.
Disclaimer: This is an original story that is not based on any real people or events. It is a work of fiction that is purely to acknowledge and develop the character of Voltaire’s complex-emotions and motivation.